What New Parents Say And What They Actually Mean
A light-hearted translation guide to what new parents actually mean — no new parents were harmed in the making of this article. (They were too tired to notice.)
New parents are exhausted, overwhelmed, and deeply grateful for your help. They are also, bless them, not always saying exactly what they mean. A translation guide, for anyone who loves them.
“We’re keeping visitors to a minimum for now.”
Not you specifically. Well — not only you. Please bring food.
“He’s / she’s a really good baby.”
He slept for three consecutive hours last night and they nearly wept with relief.
“We’re figuring out our own routine.”
This is a polite way of saying: please don’t tell me how you did it in 1987. Babies have changed. Or at least, the advice has.
“We don’t want to spoil her.”
The parents have already held her for six hours straight today. They are asking you, specifically, to put her down occasionally so their arms can recover.
“We’re doing a lot of research.”
They have read four conflicting articles at 3am and are now more confused than before. They are doing their best.
“Feel free to come by any time!”
DON’T FALL FOR THIS. Text first. Bring lunch. Stay two hours maximum. Leave having done something useful.
“The baby prefers to fall asleep a certain way.”
There is a method. It has seventeen steps. They will demonstrate. Please pay close attention.
“We just want to do things our way.”
This is the truest thing they will say to you. It doesn’t mean your way was wrong. It means this is their baby, their home, and their turn. The best response is a nod and another serving of whatever you brought for dinner.
If you want to understand those early days from the other side, TGC piece on what my mother-in-law did right after I gave birth is worth reading.
And when the dust settles, our guide to what really makes a good grandparent is a good companion read.
