A Long-Distance Christmas: How to Celebrate With Your Grandkids When You Can't Be There

Some years the whole family fits around one table. Other years, the grandkids are with the other side of the family, or on the other side of the world, and Christmas happens on a screen.

It is fine to feel sad about it. It is also worth knowing that children remember who was part of their Christmas, not who was in the room. A grandparent who sends a letter on December 1, plays charades on a call in the middle of the month and reads a story on Christmas Eve is very much part of it.

Here is how to do it, from early planning to the big day.

Start early, in November

The best long-distance Christmases are planned before December begins.

Talk to the parents now. Ask what their plans are, when a good time for calls would be, and especially when not to call. Christmas morning with small children is chaotic. A call at a calm moment in the afternoon is often better than one in the middle of the wrapping paper.

Agree on presents. Ask what the children actually need or want, and whether there is room in the house. Parents are often quietly relieved when a grandparent asks before buying the enormous toy.

Post early. Christmas post is slow and international post is slower. Aim to send parcels by the end of November, and tell the parents what is coming so it can be hidden.

Make December last a month, not a day

When you are far away, one call on Christmas Day carries a lot of weight. Spread the joy across the month instead.

Run a shared countdown. Pick a small activity for every day, or every few days, that you do at the same time in both homes. Paper snowflakes cut together on a call, hot chocolate toasted on the screen, a carol you teach them. We put 24 ideas, each with a video call version, into our Christmas countdown activities.

Send something they can open in December. A small envelope for every weekend in Advent, a calendar you made, or a letter on December 1 telling them what you are looking forward to. Real post is a rare thing for children, and it arrives with your handwriting on it.

Decorate together. Put your trees up on the same day, on a call. Show each other your favourite ornaments and tell the stories behind yours.

Watch the same film. Choose a Christmas film, press play at the same moment, and message each other at the best bits. Older kids especially enjoy this one.

Ideas for video calls in December

Christmas calls work best with something to do, not just “So, what’s Santa bringing?”

• Christmas charades. Act out a snowman, a reindeer or a stuck Santa. No words allowed.
• Gingerbread contest. Each build a little house from crackers and icing, then give a tour.
• Show and tell. Ask them to show you their tree, their wish list, or what they made at school.
• Christmas I Spy. Play it with the decorations in your own room.
• Cook the family recipe. Teach them the dish your family always makes, step by step.

If you need more ideas for calls in general, our video call games with grandkids work all year, and the free Video Call Play Pack has printable games you can play on any call.

Opening presents on a call

Many grandparents wonder whether the children should open their presents on a call. It can be lovely, but only if it is planned.

Ask the parents to save your present for a call later in the day, so it does not get lost in the morning pile.

Ask them to prop the phone up where you can see the child’s face, not the ceiling.

Keep it short. One present, a thank you, and a few minutes of showing you how it works. Let them go back to playing.

Open yours too. If they have sent you something, open it on the same call. Children love watching a grown-up open a present they chose.

On Christmas Eve

A bedtime story on Christmas Eve is one of the nicest long-distance traditions there is. It takes ten minutes, it calms excited children down, and it is a job you can do perfectly from anywhere. Choose a Christmas book you can hold up to the camera, or read ’Twas the Night Before Christmas. Our guide to bedtime stories on a video call has tips for making it work.

Afterwards, you can follow Santa on the NORAD Santa Tracker together, and wave goodnight when he reaches your part of the world.

And for you

A Christmas apart from the grandkids can feel quiet once the call ends. Plan something for yourself too: a walk, friends for lunch, a phone call with your own siblings. Write down one thing the children said on the call so you can remember it.

And remember that next year might look completely different. Christmases apart do not stay that way forever.

A countdown for both homes

Our free Christmas Countdown printable has 24 small activities for December, each with a version for the same room and one for a video call, plus a calendar for the fridge. Print one copy for yourself and send the PDF to the parents.

Get the free Christmas Countdown

How are you spending Christmas with your grandkids this year?